RIP Sassy. 1993-2015
I’ve been pretty down over the last couple of weeks after the passing of my trusty bio-pup Sassy. She’s been part of mine and Tony’s life since we moved in together over 10 years ago. I didn’t really realise how much though, until she’s now gone. So, I wanted to write a little bit about it and how I’ve realised she made me feel. It’s taken me about 3 weeks reading over this post, and re-reading to finally decide to post it, but it was my feelings about being a kink pup myself and my relationship with her that made me think I should post it, just to see if this is a common feeling and if the impact of how it made me feel doesn’t make anyone feel the same.
We got Sassy as a rescue dog from Dogs Trust over in Liverpool, and although we hadn’t planned on getting a dog, after we went with friends to look, we knew straight away that we wanted her after seeing her sat in that cage. People say rescues always make the best pets, and I’ve always loved rotties, finding them to be the most faithful of dogs. I always wanted a dog as a kid too, but as family we had cats, lots of them one after another.
When we got her she needed loads of exercise and she was walked daily in the woods at the top of the road, but as she got older she started to have hip and back problems (a trait of rotties apparently) and a small operation and water therapy was required (which she hated, except for the drying part!). She was then put onto Loxicom, which is an anti-inflammatory, and until the last 6 months still enjoyed daily walks. She has been part of our lives together for over 10 years.
When we stopped walking her, I really missed going out without her. It was just one of those things we did together, and that walking without her now always seems like a bit of wasted walk. She was never a water-based dog, but I enjoyed teasing her and trying to get her to play in streams.
About a month or so ago she fell whilst trying to get up the stairs, and became lame on her back left leg. After a scan at the vets to see if there was a break, we were told the worse news that her knees had cancer and that things were probably not going to be get any better for her. We kept her comfortable for the last month or so, and although she had managed to still limp in and out to go the toilet and didn’t seem in too much pain (on her pain meds), but when she then couldn’t get up at all we knew that we had to do the right thing.
The vets were great, and they came out to the house to put her to sleep, and tony and I cuddled her (both crying our eyes out) whilst she gently passed away, but making that final decision and watching her sit there all happy because we had visitors in the house, she seemed blissfully unaware of any pain, which I’m happy about. We then wrapped her up carefully (along with her favourite toys and little pillow she used to lie on) and laid her to rest at the bottom of the garden, and planted a tree in her memory.
A few weeks have passed now to get over the grief in it all, but I still miss her so much. She was a companion that was always there, and I’ve also realised that a lot of my pup head-space and interaction with other pup comes from my interactions and experience I have had with her. I really got into pup play about 2 years ago, but my interactions with her span back 10 years. All those interactions were being pre-programmed into me from my interactions with her. I always cuddled her, played with her, teased her, and loved her. She was there at the end of the day with a pleased face when I got in, even when I was coming back to an empty house and she had spent the day wandering around the garden. If she wanted something, she’d quietly approach and just put her head on your knee and give you her puppy dog eyes. She’d raise her paw for you if you asked her to, and sometimes if you ignored what she wanted you’d get the paw off her too.
Now, when I get in (and Tony’s away) and its quiet, and I’m left with my own thoughts rather than chatting away or playing with her. It all seems very odd, and I’m definitely pining for her. But she wont be back, and all I can do is be thankful for having her be such a big part of my life and hope that at some point we’ll be ready to have another bio-dog join our pack for me to love.